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Sexology was born at the end of the 19th century with the publication of Psychopathia sexualis by Richard von Krafft-Ebing in Suttgart in 1886. Havelock Ellis’ work, Studies in the psychology of sex (1898, Philadelphia, USA) and Sigmund Freud’s Three essays on sexuality (Vienna, Austria, 1905) were published around the same time, but showed very different conceptions of sexuality. This accounts for the hesitations of new-born sexology. In 1919, Magnus Hirschfeld created his famous Institute in Berlin. It was one of the first buildings to be plundered and burnt down by the Nazis in 1933. In the eyes of the Nazis, Magnus Hirschfeld had two reasons to be persecuted : he was Jewish and homosexual. Let us remember that these persecutions have not stopped : some homosexuals were persecuted in Cairo in 2001, because they had been found in a gay club. Some of them were sentenced to two, others to five years of forced labour.
Pioneers in sexology have always had to confront conservative, racist and fascist attitudes. In 1926, in the context of the liberal and democratic Netherlands, Theodore Van de Velde described The perfect marriage, which replaces conjugal duty with happiness. The book was published in the whole world until 1965 ; there are around 50 editions.
In 1966 William Masters and Virginia Johnson Published Human sexual response. This book reports their revolutionary experiences, which founded modern scientific sexology. They were indeed the first to dare observe the sexual function, in the same way that Claude Bernard had observed the heart function, the breathing function and the digestive function. In their laboratory, transformed into a fortress, 694 men and women masturbated or made love in front of cameras. They were heterosexual or homosexual. The subjects were fitted with electrodes and all sorts of sensors in order to record their hear beat, the rhythm of their breathing and their blood pressure. The erection of the penis, of the clitoris, of the tit, the colour of the skin were, amongst other things, also measured. Masters and Johnson then proceeded to the clinical phase of their work, with their book, Human sexual inadequacy, published in 1970. The publisher of the French version, Robert Laffont, asked me to supervise the translation in 1972.
I discovered that I had a calling to help individuals and couples who experienced sexual problems. So, right from the moment it was created, I agreed to answer the reader’s mail of Union ; a monthly magazine on sexuality, and I also had a daily radio broadcast with Ménie Grégoire on RTL. At the same time, I was training with Masters and Johnson in Saint-Louis, Missouri, at the National Sex Forum of San Francisco, California and at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California. In Paris, I started a Jungian analysis and set up a Freudian supervision.
In 20 years, my method evolved along with my own questioning, my training and the analysis I made of the results of my practice. This is how experimental and behaviourist sexology rapidly turned into Humanist Sexology, then into Humanist Analytical Sexology, and finally became Amourology, with the publication of L’Amourologue, in 1992. So that a therapy of the love relationship replaced the therapy of the sexual function : the symptom was set in the global context of the subject’s relational problems.
Finally, I discover the 'E.M.D.R. (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) with david Servan-Schreiber (2000) |
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Amourology is meant to give support to individuals and couples who are searching for love and happiness. The main aim is to increase one’s capacity for love, in order to reach a properly adequate level. It is a group process, with individual sessions in between the group sessions. There must be at least one individual session between two group sessions, sometimes more, depending on the desire of the person, the clinical needs or the hazards of life ( a break-up , a death, an accident, professional problems ...)
Amourology corresponds to Wolberg’s definition :
It is a treatment in which emotional problems are dealt with thanks to psychological means. During this treatment, an experienced person has a professional relationship with a patient in order to :
a/ suppress, change or diminish certain existing symptoms.
b/ to alter disturbed behaviours.
c/ to encourage positive growth and the blossoming of personality.
A child naturally discovers the whole range of feelings in his family. I have transposed this obvious aspect of the human condition into the context of group therapy. The latter offers many possibilities for experimentation.
The psychotherapist
The team is composed of :
- Two Amourologists, the referent psychotherapists, a man and a woman. They are each in charge of half the group, whatever the sex of the therapiser. When people come as a couple, they cannot have the same referent psychotherapist.
- Two other Amourologists, who offer couple psychotherapy. They run the groups for couples and give personal sessions between the groups to people who come as a couple. Once a year, during the 9-day summer seminar, they run the practice of behaviourist exercises from the Masters and Johnson method. This practice is offered only to people who come for couple therapy.
- a person trained in the Milton Trager method.
The therapeutic context
Each therapisand signs, with himself and before the therapists and the whole group, a contract by which he commits himself to :
1. To participate in all the workshops programmed for the group :
- Seven 24 hour week-ends that take place in a venue equipped with a 32°C swimming pool for mind-body work.
- Three 3-day groups ; « Becoming a Man, becoming a Woman, becoming a Couple », during which couples work in a couple group and individuals work in a male or female unisex group.
- A 3-day group for sexual education, with films from the National Sex Forum of San Francisco.
- A 9-day seminar which offers a practice of the Masters and Johnson method for couples, a creative and audio-visual work for individuals, and Trager Work for all.
- A 6-day ecological workshop, experienced individually and chosen amongst two themes : « The humanist sea » and « The humanist island ».
- For couples only, on top of the individual ecological workshop, a 4-day workshop entitled « The couple’s humanist island »
- A weekend on Christmas.
- Two 8 hour groups of Trager Work, experienced individually.
2. To participate in evening workshops from 6. 30 p.m. to 8 p.m. every week if the therapisands live in the Paris area and can free themselves to come.
3. To have at least one individual session between each week-end workshop.
As is always the case in an analytical context, the fees for all these workshops and individual sessions are due, even when people miss them.
The therapisands also commit themselves :
- not to see each other or write to each other or phone each other in between workshops.
- not to have erotic games or sexual intercourse during the workshops.
These two restrictions do naturally not apply to people who come for couple therapy.
- Not to drink during the workshops and not to smoke inside the rooms or on the boats (for the humanist sea).
The length of the therapy is not predetermined. It can vary from a few week-ends to several years. It is only recommended not to quit the therapy or leave the groups in a hurry. Two moments are offered for leaving : after the summer holidays and after Christmas.
Les therapisers
Twenty years ago, I invented the word « therapisand » to name patients. Others liked to call them clients or users, the word « patient » belongs of course to the medical world. The word therapisand comes from an analogy with the word analysand, often used in the analytical cure. The word has made its way into the language and has now been adopted by the whole profession.
Some purists have proposed the word therapyand. Although, as Alain Rey, creator of the « Robert » dictionary, remarked, it is grammatically more correct, the word is not used by many people for the moment.
Today, the group of therapisands is composed of around 50 people, with roughly as many men as women. They are between 18 and 70, they come from 15 different countries, belong to various races and religions. Most of them are heterosexuals, but there are some homosexuals. More than half of the group consists of people who come as a couple.
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Amourology is :
- Sexologic
- Behaviourist (Masters and Johnson method)
- Analytical, based on Jungian as well as Freudian concepts.
- Humanist (using concepts and practices that belong to humanist psychology : gestalt, bioenergy, koula...)
- A mind-body therapy (the Milton Trager method, sensitive massage, work in swimming pools).
- A music therapy, using operas by Mozart, but also by Rossini, Verdi, Offenbach and all kinds of music, like Celtic music for example.
- Fulfilling (dance, creativity, music, singing).
- Audio-visual : each year the therapisands see more than 20 feature films and around ten short films. The therapisands are filmed during the ecological workshops, while they are discovering the Ponant islands (Hoëdic, Houat, Belle Ile enMer, Groix), the Bay of Quiberon and the Gulf of Morbihan.
All workshops are residential : they take place either in a seminar centre or on a camping site. A lot of the work is actually done during the breaks, the meals and by the very fact of living together 24 hours a day during the ecological workshops. |
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I am going to sum up the work done in each workshop and I will then go into more detail for two original workshops : the Humanist Sea and the Humanist Island.
a/ The residential week-ends for groups.
At the beginning, and for several years, the process only consisted in one marathon week-end of 24 hours each month, with nothing in between. These week-ends therefore constitute the core of the work. During this week-end, we offer an experience in hot water, such as the one I experienced in Big Sur, on the Pacific Coast, where the mind-body work takes place in the natural 40°C hot springs of the Indian tribe of Esalen. We alternate holding, relaxing and all sorts of games where joy and letting go can be expressed. This work can be regressive, but is most of the time playful and based on tenderness and relaxation. There is no erotic induction. Music plays an important role in this process : it ranges from Mozart to the Creole Company and supports emotions or encourages dancing.
Each time, we go to the cinema to watch a general public feature film that is used as a basis for analytical group psychotherapy. The point is not to debate the film, but to become conscious of one’s emotions and identifications. Each participant studies his own reactions, compares them with others, especially with the reactions of participants of the other sex. Let us imagine a scene in a film where an incest is suggested : some will understand that the father has had sex with his daughter and others won’t.
Now that all the other workshops have become part of the process, there are only 7 of these week-end workshops, evenly distributed in the year. They take place at a venue where we have a 32°C hot water swimming pool for the mind-body work and that is close to an UGC cinema complex. And if we need more choice, we can easily go to Les Halles, where there is a choice of around 50 films.
b/ During the three 3 day workshops : « Becoming a Man, becoming a Woman, becoming a Couple », couples work in a couple group and individuals work in unisex groups of men or women. Everyone has the opportunity to experience the Trager method in a group. Every night, we see a feature film or a documentary and it is used as a basis for therapy. Working in unisex groups gives the therapisands the opportunity to express their feelings even more freely, without the fear of hurting someone of the opposite sex.
c/ The 3 day workshop for sexual education uses films from the National Sex Forum of San Francisco. These are not pornographic films, but sexology films showing individuals masturbating or couples making love tenderly. These people have not been paid for doing this: they chose to give their behaviour to science. These films can only be used for the purpose of sexual education and therapy. After seeing the film, there is a group talk. Therapisands comment on what they felt during the screening or they speak of their experience, of their personal practice.
d/ The long 9 day workshop in July gives the opportunity for couples to work with the Masters and Johnson method and with the Trager Work. Individuals do creative work and experience the Trager Work. Each night, a feature film is used as a basis for therapy work. So there are 9 films on one or several topics. It is the most powerful workshop in the process, mainly because its long. Regression is more intense and watching many films on the same topic reinforces the impact of the films. Sometimes they are films by Marcel Pagnol or Ingmar Bergman, operas by Mozart, Verdi or Rossini.
e/ The ecological workshop « the humanist sea » where each therapisand comes as an individual. Couples have to be in different workshops. Individuals can choose between « the humanist sea » and « the humanist island » but can also do both.
f/For couples only, on top of the individual ecological workshop, there is another compulsory 4-day workshop « the humanist island for the couple ». It may seem like a honey moon because the Hoëdic island is so magic. Each couple can find sea, sun and communication, happiness in a way.
g/ A 4 day individual workshop between island and sea. This is designed for individuals who choose to do both « the humanist sea » and « the humanist island » and takes place at the same time as « the humanist island for the couple ».
h/ The special Christmas workshop, juste before the new year break, involves working on giving and we offer a spiritual therapeutic experience, such as a Celtic music concert, a conference on buddhism, a meeting with a Tibetan monk, a Christmas mass said by a Dominican monk...
Each participant has the opportunity to express his beliefs. This workshop takes the form of a party : people can share their gifts for cooking around a ‘Christmas eve’ supper. Exceptionally, it is permitted to drink moderately. For some people, it is actually difficult to party : there are often very painful memories attached to Christmas.
i/ The evening workshops are only for therapisands who live in the Paris area and can free themselves at this time of the day. They are weekly workshops, but do not take place during school holidays. The workshop consists in a group talk preceded by 20 minutes of listening to Mozart.
j/ The individual and couple sessions in between groups consist of :
n at least one individual session with the referent Amourologist between two workshops. Often the therapisands choose to have a weekly session.
n each couple has at least one meeting with the couple Amourologists between the big groups they attend together.
These sessions consist in a face to face talk, without mind-body work.
The Humanist Sea
The Humanist Sea was the first ecological workshop we created. But we cannot impose on people to take the risk of sailing, so that they are given the choice between this workshop and the « Humanist Island » which takes place on the Hoëdic Island. They are the most original and advanced workshops of the whole process.
The Humanist Sea actively brings nature into the therapeutic process. It has already taken place 36 times in 20 years time. The basic principles are :
To give absolute priority to safety : one hand for the sailor and one hand for the boat.
To do this workshop in the safe context of a professional sailing school specialised in teaching cruising. : the Cruising Training Centre (CFC) managed by a sailor, Philippe Facque and based in La Trinité-sur-Mer (Morbihan).
To give a professional instructor (with a state diploma) the responsibility of choosing a route and organising the fleet, with the help of a second instructor.
The two referent Amourologists are in charge of the therapeutic aspect of the workshop.
The workshop lasts for 6 days, during which the therapisands sleep and eat on board the ships. They form teams of 5 to 8 people, according to the size of the boat, which varies from seven to ten metres. A skipper chosen among the therapisands is in charge of each boat and he is helped by his First mate. Of course, they should both be able to sail a boat properly. Another therapisand is responsible for supplies. The other members of the team have less important functions.
It is not necessary to know how to sail or how to swim in order to participate. It doesn’t matter if someone is seasick : in the context of a therapy, after a few days of feeling sick, the therapisers become accustomed to sailing and they stop feeling seasick. The sea constantly brings us back to reality, so that everyone has to acquire a know-how and has to be careful.
Living in a group in a small space, with a hierarchy and the rules of the sea to respect, offers a very rich field of experience. The skipper is the father on the boat, the first mate is the younger brother and the person in charge of supplies is the nourishing mother.
Team are usually mixed. Sometimes there are only men in the team. We have given up on women only teams. It happened twice and very painful conflicts were brought to the surface. It was difficult to solve them and that spoiled the pleasure and harmony of the cruise quite a bit. To live in very close quarters develops the capacity to relate to others. It is favourable to the surfacing of friction and conflicts and their resolution opens up new fields to work on.
The rocking of the sea invites deep sleep and is favourable to dreaming. The therapisand writes down his dreams in his personal notebook and can analyse them later.
In this way, the participants both learn about sailing and progress in their therapeutic process.
The audio-visual process consists for each team in realising a 60 minute video that tells the story of their cruise. Another video will be shot that describes the more specific work of the skippers. These videos are later on screened before the whole group. So that the psychological work and the unique adventure of each team can be shared by the others ; it helps to reunite the general process.
Right from the start, with the first workshops, we realised how powerful the process was. It was necessary to take it into account or else both therapists and instructors soon regressed. This has led us to create specific rules in order to prevent this regression from happening :
n The therapists never sail in the same boat as the therapisands.
n The sailing instructors have as little contact as possible with the therapisands. They only see each other for the sailing lessons and when boats are sailed. We ask the instructors to stay away from the therapisands during free time and meals or evenings. The instructors live on the staff boat, with the therapists.
n During the times when we put in, the therapists themselves try to put some distance between them and the instructors. This is done by sleeping on the shore as often as possible and by avoiding to dine with the instructors. So that each person’s specific professional attributes and identity remain clear.
n The analytical work is done in small talk groups. For example, if the fleet is composed of 4 boats hosting 5 therapisands each, two small groups of 10 are created and they meet in one of the boats under the supervision of one psychotherapist. This short working time is sufficient. It can be used to do analytical group therapy, or to work on life on board. It might be about relational problems that have emerged because of living together in the boat or it could be about manoeuvres necessary to navigation.
n During the cruises, each therapisand has a double copying notebook to write down his dreams and impressions. One of the sheets is given regularly to the psychotherapists, so that they can follow the therapeutic process of each person and they can mention some of the things they read during the small talk groups.
The sun, the sea; the rain, the swell, the beauty of the landscapes, the call of the birds, meeting dolphins, the friendship, all this creates the context for an unforgettable psychological experience.
The Humanist Island
Whether they are offered to individuals or to couples, all workshops of the Humanist Island take place on a small Ponant Island : the Island of Hoëdic (which means duckling in Breton). It is two and half kilometres long and one kilometre wide. There are about 100 inhabitants. The workshop lasts six days, including the 8 hour travel from Paris. After the TGVwhich stops at Auray, one has to take a bus to Port Maria in Qiberon, and then there is a 75 minute boat trip on a fast catamaran of the Morbihan Sailing Company to reach the island. Hoëdic is a bit like the end of the world. The therapisands camp and have gîtes to cook, wash and get warm if the weather is bad. The sea is always present, in the minds as well as in the activities. The therapisands are in small groups with a leader and someone responsible for supplies in each gîte. Again we have a family structure with a father and a mother. Those who do not want to camp can have a bed in a room of the gîte.
The work is either done in the big group or in small groups corresponding to the gîtes. Exercises are based on sand and sea. Each person or each couple is offered to build a sand castle which can be an outlet for dreams and fantasies. Watching birds, sunsets, flowers and being aware of smells is used as an aid for psychological work. There is a moment devoted to audio-visual creativity : the therapisands can , for example, direct a wedding scene, or any other scene they have imagined. These little films are often funny and give an opportunity to work on humour. Each night, we have a musical evening.
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